I joined my first job as a RCG. I had not seen so many 'angry' people in my life before. At job generally people are miserable in comparison to when they are off work. There is always lot of pressure in manufacturing environment and all successful companies have an inbuilt pressure to squeeze most out of their employees. I would see people get mad and I tried to ape my own 'avatar' of anger, but then I saw one Engineer a few years senior to me. The most unassuming engineer on the floor, who was always joking and having fun with everyone on the shop floor. I admired his patience and spirit. One day when I was taking my every day walk from our RCG hostel to canteen I met him on my way. I asked him how come you are never angry? He said - "भाऊ। ... अगर गुस्सा आया तो समझ जा अपने में ही कुछ खोट है। ....... बहार कुछ नहीं है." (Bro... if you are angry it is because of your failings not because of anyone outside of you)
I felt happy instantly it felt like a great line to say, but it also stuck with me for ever. I kept on testing this philosophy, how is it possible? You get mad because of the situation or mean people or people doing things wrong, but I knew he has figured it out! he demonstrated it everyday!
When you are single you generally feel invincible and not that angry, then Job, Marriage and Kids happens and you need to keep finding a new level of patience. Anger keeps growing with passing years unless you find an anecdote for it. This philosophy is it. Your anger is directly proportional to your ego. Same situation can evoke completely different reaction from you. Your kids can do same exact thing and every time the reaction they see may be completely different. So it is very clear same thing done by same people may evoke different reaction from you. One day you may be angry and the other you may laugh at exact same situation. Anger in angry people is also respected a lot, Anger in general is thought to be something good, directed towards evil or something bad. But if there was just something evil that always evokes anger it was easy, but it is not. It is your state of mind, your guilt, your energy level and your own biases that evoke the reaction to any situation and not the situation itself. This amalgamation of your own jumbled energy, mind, views, guilt, failures, and successes produces anger.
Simple way to figure it out is - the moment you feel anger, it changes your pulse and heart beat, you tighten up, there are many signs that can be called pre-anger symptoms. With a trained mind, these can be identified. Once identified you need to disconnect from the situation and interview yourself. Exactly why are you getting angry? You have to assume that it is not the subject's problem it is yours. The answer will be - it is your own weakness you are mad at. Either because of your personal faults in that situation, or really you are mad that someone thinks differently than you and you don't want to accept life the way it is, or you are scared and the reaction is anger because you feel not in control, or you are just plain tired, or your mood is not right because your favorite team just lost and so you took it out on another situation.
No matter what your personal failing - it is definitely yours and no one else's.
No comments:
Post a Comment